What we pass on....

I was just watching Oprah and thought that I would blog some of my thoughts because it was very thought provoking. It was about 3 and 4 year old girls who are obsessed with their looks and their weight as well as girls in general with extremely low self esteem. Being a former annorexic or recovering annorexic (whatever you want to call it) it brought out Alot of emotion because it reminded me of all those same very real and raw feelings. It talked about how we as parents pass on our own issues and insecurities to our children. It made me grateful that I dont have a daughter for once. One, What are the odds that in todays appearance obsessed society she wouldnt grow up and live through the Hell of feeling fat, ugly and inadequite. (when I say hell I am understating) Obviously not every woman grows up feeling like that but there is that chance and going through it myself it would absolutely tear me up to see my daughter go through that. Can anyone e lse relate to those tortureous all consuming thoughts? Two, I feel like with having my own issues she would be coming into the world with a disadvantage already. I do try to be pro-active with Jack in letting him know that Fat is not a word we use as well as other things. But I realize that I use it when I am referring to myself. I try not to but I di it without noticing it. ow do we give our kids a fighting chance so that they will not compare themselves to what they see on TV and elsewhere and feel equal when they go out into the world. What are your thought and opinions? Do any of you see this in your own home.

Has someone seen my Sanity???

I think that I have decided to stay in my house until my children pass the age 3. Not that I am saying 4 will be better but if its not please dont tell me! I prefer to stay blissfully ignorant!!!!! I just made a Pointless trip to the mall with my boys and once we got into the mall Jack turned into a possesed monster!!! I have NEVER seen my child or anyone elses act like this in public before. He was Flailing around for reasons I really couldnt understand becuse he wasnt makng much sense underneath all the crying. The ENTIRE mall was gawking at the both of us. I am sure I wasnt making their shopping experience enjoyable but I wasnt going to give Jack what he wanted because that would teach him nothing. SO, we didnt get anything done that we needed to do and I packed up our stuff and left. (After buying him shoes that I am praying fit him, needless to say I didnt reaLly get to try them on) A total of 45 minutes at the mall he spent about 38 minutes screaming his head off. I DID notice later that his cousin gave him some red candy when we first got there which could have been the culprit. Jack has a Strong reaction to red food coloring. (Thanks Levi! :))I'm worn out!!!! So, when you see poeple in the store and their kids are acting like lunatics what do you do. Do you roll your eyes or give them thumbs up for not giving in. (I understand that the answers may be different for those who have children and those who dont) Obviously leaving the store and going home is the best option and gets my sons attention so really there isnt much point in taking him if I am going to have to leave a place 20 minutes after I get there. Such is life....thanks for listening to my vent session!!!
On a happy note..................1 more day until ALIAS!!!!!!! If anyone calls me tomorrow night between 7 and 9 I will NOT pick up!! :)

What the.....

I was reading my friends blog and thought I would post a link that she had. Its about how planned parenthood has spent the past four years trying to inch its way into the christian community. It was interesting and I am still in awe. Share your thoughts.
http://www.lifenews.com/nat2182.html

The fear of the unknown

So, 2 children continues to keep me on my feet and it is also bringing new changes in my life. I will be entering the wold that works ALOT but doesnt get paid. Otherwise known as the Stay at home mom!!! I just put my 2 weeks noice in at the bank after working there for 7 years. Its been a place I never really wanted to leave but circumstances are telling me that its time. I know that its God because never before have I been ok with the thought. I am sure I will get into something to make some supplemental income just for my own sanity but it will be something I can pace myself at and do on my own. Pray for my sanity in dealing with being at home with my kids full time!! :) At least I have enough friends to keep me busy socially which is a Must for me!
On another note, i just finished 2 books that were Excellent! "The Book Theif" is a historical fiction about a foster girl in Nazi Germany during World war 2. If your looking for a book to read, pick it up! The other was "The Giver", much shorter and good story!

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggady Jig!

I wasnt neglecting my blog on purpose I was just not able to read or post since we were on vacation last week. We went and spent a few days in Chatanooga TN with my grandparents which was actually alot of fun. I loved watching my My grandparents with the kids. Jack ate up all the attention and my grandmother was able to stop Ashers fussing everytime she held him. Arent grandparents great!I also got to see my moms old dog Tessa. My uncle Randy adopted her after my mom died. my grandparents had fattened her up when they had her but she is back to her old self now. Spoiled and healthy. No more caramels for her! (who gives their dogs caramels??? other than my grandparents of course!) My mom would be happy! Anyway, after Chatanooga we went and met our friends Jamie and Liz in the mountains by Pigeon Forge. It was a Fabulous cabin secluded in the woods. I LOVE THE MOUNTAINS!!! Jack fell in love with the hot tub and now asks every five minutes if we can go to Menards and buy one. I'm not kidding when I say "every five minutes". :) We all had a great time and I wasnt to thrilled about coming home! But alas, all good things must come to an end. (I guess that phrase doesnt apply to everything but oh well) I hope you all had a good week!

Here we go again....

If you have read my brother and sister-n-laws blogs you will see that there is a VERY LARGE possiblilty of them moving away from here, all the way to NC. Now my brother would jump at any chance to move back there and I am glad that this is something that would be good fo rhim and his family. I love them and want whats best, BUT, dont I still have the right to be upset. I know that if its Gods will then they will get the job and they will b on their way and I trust that will be what is best but Gods will isnt always easy to accept. I am sure that it was Gods will that my mom leave this earth but I gotta tell you it REALLY Sucks not having her here!!!! Especially Now! So, here I am, the last remnant of my family, still here. Do people Really think that I am going to welcome the last peice of my family leaving me. It seems that its a trend. Hmmmmmm?
OK, so I just had to get that off my chest. Again, I want what is best for John and his family so I am praying for Gods will.

Um.........

OK.....I have officially replaced my adult vocabulary for a 3 year old vocabulary. Even as I write this I sit for several minutes in the middle of each sentence to try to find my words. I seem to have lost any capability of having an adult conversation with words bigger than 5 letters. It took me 4 minutes to think of the word capability. How sad is that? I was trying to write a comment on my friends Alias blog the other day and somewhere in my head I had a really intelligent response but I had No words to put it in. I takes me so long to put words to my thoughts that by the time I actually do I have a 3 year olds whining for my attention or a newborn that wants to nurse. I eventually gave up because my brain started to hurt! :) My children turned my brain into mush! AGHHHHHH! :) Does anyone else get this? Will I ever get my intellagence back?

Sharing my Qhirks.....

I figure I can get away with this whie they are young. Right now my kids enjoy things that I do because they want to be like mommy and daddy. THere will soon come a day when we arent so cool and I am taking Full Advantage!! :) So, for now....Jack and Asher are Alias fans along with their parents! Arent they Lucky!
During the Acadamy Awards when Jen came out to present an award Jack exclaimed "mama, its Sydney!!!" Thats my Boy! Speaking of that....did you see her almost totally wipe out as she came out! It was Very Close! Anyway, Not much more to say because I have spent my day with kids and my brain is pretty much mush! :) More on that later.....

Happy Birthday Mom!!!!

Today is my mothers 56th birthday and though she is no longer here with us I wanted to acknowledge it all the same. I received a phone call last night from my best friend from middle school who I haven't talked to in a good 10-12 years. She continually told me how sad she was about my mom and how much my mom meant to her. I am always so incredibly surprised on how many lives she touched and how deeply she touched them. It must say something about a person when their pharmacist comes to their funeral. :) She was Amazing!
I also wanted to say thank you to my sister-n-law. My friend Janet asked me last night how I was dealing with not having my mom around since we were so close. I thought about it and I have to say that Its totally God that I have my sister-n-law, Elizabeth in my life. I can call and vent or cry or ask silly questions, and most of all I can sit and talk about my mom with her and know that she feels the same loss. So, Thank You, Elizabeth, for being there....And Thank you, John, for not moving you and your family away! :) OK, enough blubbering! Thanks for listening!
Oh, to John and Lee......Janet Cooper says hello!

Back Online

I'm Finally back online with the rest of the world! I felt So out of touch for the last few weeks. We just got new carpet (which is Fabulous by the way)and we had to basically move out of our house for a few days. We took out my computer as well as my desk and in the interest of space we are not putting my desk up back and I am now typing on a new lap top. All that to explain why I have not been online in a while.

Since my last post I have gone back to work 2 days a week! Its so different from when I went back with Jack full time. Full time was too much time away from my baby. Part time is a nice break. Its just for a few hours a couple days a week. I kind felt like I was on a mini vacation. I know that sounds bizarre and I hope it doesn't sound like I didn't miss my kids because I did.The difference is while I am at work I feel like I am accomplishing something and while I am at home things CONSTANTLY need to be done and as soon as I do them they get UNdone. Its Endless Constant work! When I do something at work I get to complete the task and it typically stays completed, at least for the day. Does anyone get that?
Apologies to all for slacking on my blogging! Hopefully this laptop will make it easier.

Happy Birthday Jack!!!

Just wanted to announce that my son is now officially 3 years Old! How does time go so fast?? Its Crazy! I am also pleased to announce that he is also finally potty trained! I guess what they say is right. When they are ready they're ready! It took like 2 days for him to get it. He has an accident from time to time but he has done Great!!!! Its SOO nice not to have to change 2 kids diapers!! WOOHOOO!!!! I have to make a public Thank you to Elizabeth for being there to ask all of my silly potty training questions to (as well as parenting advice)! She was a lifesaver! Thanks E!!

On a Totally different subject....Did everyone watch "Greys Anatomy" last night??? How Great was that!!!! It totally kept me pumped through the whole thing!!!! Cant wait till next week!

Baby Training? Is this a Circus?

I just have to vent a bit about something that really confuses and perplexes me. Of course, its probably going to step on some people toes but we are all entitled to our own beliefs.
This whole parenting style of "Baby Training" or the idea that this baby came into my house they can fit around MY schedule is somewhat disturbing to me. First of all, did the baby get a say in whether or not they came into this family, second, they're a baby, isn't this the time in our lives (as parents) that we are learning to be selfless as opposed to selfish. Aren't children Gods little way of teaching us the the world doesn't revolve around us and we should put our children BEFORE our own selfish wants. So, that said, the whole baby training, ie, letting our babies (babies being the operative word) Cry it out because they should learn to do things on our schedule is somewhat ignorant. Why should we expect a baby to act like anything But a baby?? A baby cries because it is the ONLY way to communicate his/her needs. If we ignore those cries we are, in turn, ignoring their needs. A 6 month old doesn't have the capacity to manipulate. Yes, it may cry because it wants to be held but that is a need to a 6 month old. They wont be babies forever and I don't believe that we are "spoiling" them by giving them what they need. After all something that is spoiled is typically left alone untouched on a shelf somewhere. Now, I'm not saying that Baby training doesn't work, it does, if you let your baby scream he/she will eventually get tired because no one is responding to its call, she will give up and at this point begins to learn not to trust his/her own feelings or his mothers. How frightening would it be to be so helpless and it seem that your very basic needs are being ignored. OK so I'm ready to hear your opinions...dont hold back. :)

Back Home...

We are all back at home safe and sound! Thank you all SO very much for all your prayers! For all of you who didn't know Asher was in the hospital. I cant tell you how frightening it is to have your 6 week old baby in the hospital and to feel so helpless. Long story short(I dont have a ton of time), Jack apparently got Whooping Cough somewhere and apparently passed it along to little Asher as well as possibly myself. Its not that big of a deal for Jack or I to have it because we have been immunized but its a little scarier in a 6 week old who hasn't yet been immunized and doesn't have a lot to fight with. Thank God I am breastfeeding! Somehow Asher also had a chest X Ray that said he had pretty severe pneumonia as well but we were all stumped (Dr included) as to why he wasn't quite as sick as a baby with severe pneumonia. Anyway, either way he is being treated for both but since he made such a wonderful recovery they said he was able to come home and finish getting better here! So whether it was Lots of Prayer or a bad xray I am just glad that he is doing well and able to be at home without a bunch of wires hooked to him! I cant tell you how disturbing it is to see your little 8 pound baby with an IV attached to him. Its very sad. I cant tell you how grateful to God I am to have a healthy baby!!! Anyway, its good to be home myself as well, those hospital beds are not the most comfortable! :) Thanks again for ALL of your thoughts and prayers and I will try to blog again soon. Life kinda gets away from me sometimes!

I'm So Tired!!

I forgot that having a newborn is so tiring! Not that it isn't worth every second but the fact remains that my body is exhausted. The physical exhaustion added to the hormone changes in my body make me very emotional. I feel like a big cry baby half the time. Some things seem warranted while others seem trivial. I went out to my mothers grave the other day and as I was talking to Jack about her I started thinking about how much fun he would had with her now which in turn started lots of crying. I cant even tell you how much she loved her grand children, she would have SO much fun with them at this age. Its not really fair that they don't get to see how much she treasured them or that they don't get to be spoiled by her. My mom would have given a stranger the shirt off her back, can you imagine what she was like with her grandchildren. Anyway, sorry I got side tracked. Oh yah, I was babbling about my emotions. All I'm saying is when you have to fight back tears during "March of the Penguins" you know your a little over emotional! Its a documentary about Penguins for cryin out loud! That's just Silly! :)
Moving on.....Levi and Beth went home a few days ago (I cried about that to) and everything is getting back to normal. I am in the midst of planning JAcks 3rd birthday party but other than that its pretty non eventful. I posted a couple pictures. One is of Asher and the other is Daniel and I at my Co. Christmas party. I think it was like 4 days before Asher was born. Sorry my post was so random and scattered.

Happy New Year!!!

I know that it has been a while since I posted but I hope that you will forgive me since I am trying to adjust, once again, to having a newborn in the house, not to mention having a 2 year old as well. Things are going well but I am Exausted because of lack of sleep. Asher has decided he likes to nurse ALL night long which means I dont get any sleep. rgot how exuasting nursing is! Other than that things are going well though. He is Very cute and so far had a good temperment.
I hope that everyone had a Wonderfull Christmas!!! Ours was great! It was So exciting for Jack this year. He is really at an age that he can grasp what is going on so it was a blast! Family came to visit and to meet Asher, my brother Levi is up for a few weeks and I am Really rellishing in that. I always forget how much I miss having him here until he comes to visit! Anyway, not much more to report but I Really want to hear how everyone elses Christmases were, so c'mon blab away!
Can I also say, (not that you care) but I miss my Alias on Wednesdays! :)

At home with Baby!

Home At Last!!! Well, its been a long few days but it turned out wonderful! Thank you all for all your prayers and posts! Its so nice to sit and read all of it this morning! For all of you who didn't get the full story I will try to give a quick summary.
I went into the Dr on Wednesday morning for my normal 38 week check up. As soon as the Dr walked in the door I could tell there was something up. Basically she started telling me they were concerned that the baby was so small and that he was continually Not getting larger from week to week. Something about being in the bottom 10th percentile and that they couldn't see what was wrong until we actually had him here. They couldn't take a chance and let him go for any longer. So she looks at me and says "It looks like we are going to have a baby today" ! What, Holy Crap, I wasn't expecting that! So I was on my way to the hospital. It was sudden and kinda scary because I didn't know what was wrong but it all turned out great! I was induced at 1:30 and Asher Daniel was born at 10:03 pm. He was a little small at 5lbs 14 oz, 18 in but he is in good health. They aren't sure what was causing the small gestational age but who cares, he's healthy and Adorable!! I will post some better pictures later but for now hopefully this will do.
To all those wondering if I watched Alias on Wednesday. I actually was going to but my epidural started wearing off right when it came on and I decided to turn it off so that I could enjoy it at a later time. :) It was good though because I ended up having him right at 10 so I would of missed half of it anyway! Oh, and isn't it kinda cool that Jennifer and I had our babies just 7 days apart?I know, I'm a dork!
Thank you guys again for All your thoughts and prayers!!! I love the fact I have people from everywhere rooting and praying for me!

Baby Update

Well, I had an ultrasound yesterday to check on the progress of the baby because it seems that I am measuring very small for how far along I am. So as a precaution they wanted another ultrasound done. It looks like we just have a Very small baby. He is about 5 pounds 7 oz right now which puts him about 2 and a half to 3 weeks behind but they aren't changing my due date because we are all pretty certain that Dec 18th is right on target. The other ultrasounds done earlier are typically much more accurate as far as due dates go and they have All said Dec 18th to the 20th. So according to the tech It looks like things are OK and he may just be small. She will talk to the Dr on Monday and see if there is anything to be concerned about and then they will let me know on Monday (if they are concerned) or Wednesday at my Dr appt.
Other than that it was fun to see the baby on screen again. He looked pretty cramped in there but he was head down and pretty low so hopefully he is getting ready!! I know I am!!

Congratulations!

Jen and Ben have finally welcomed their new baby girl into the world!! Littel Violet Anne Affleck is what I hear the name is. I am sure that Anne is after Jennifer Anne Garner. It sounds like it must have been pretty fast because according to the news she was induced last night and had the baby sometime very early this morning. Apparently she was due on the 8th but they induced her a week early. Wouldnt that be Great!!!!! Of Course, you never know if what the news says is accurate or not. I guess we just have to take their word for it. ANyway, I'm extremley happy for the new parents and I know they are busy falling in love with this new little angle in their lives! :)

A day of mourning

Ok, today is my official day of mourning. I couldn't really have it yesterday seeing as it was Thanksgiving and I was focused on being thankful. So I woke up yesterday morning to the crap news that ALIAS is on its last season. Yes, Yes, I know it sounds silly but what the hell??? Don't have much more to say other than I am Really Bummed!! It Sucks!!! At least we have until the end of this season and they will wrap up all the loose ends that have been dangling for years. I guess I will have to find something else to obsess about....HeeHee! J/K!

So, on a happier note, I went and saw RENT on Wednesday night and it was a blast! I'm not sure if it was the fact that I was going to see one of my favorite musicals at the movies or if it was the fact that I had a night out with the girls without a screaming 2 year old in tow. Maybe a little of both!

Mommy and Baby

I wanted to post these pictures really quick. I scanned them and didnt do a fabulous job. Hopefully you can click on the picture and make it larger so that you can see all 4 pics better. Sorry, I was in a hurry and didnt have time to seperate and edit. My wonderfull brother John took the time out of his evening to turn his living room into a portrait studio and take some pictures for me. Thank You!!!! I think they all turned out great but I just picked a few. So for all of you he havent seen what I look like when I am 9 months pregnant (including my own brother Levi, punk! ) here I am....

OH, and ITS SNOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!