Wednesday, April 09, 2008

HELP!!!!

Ok, So have a situation that I could use some advice on. I know some will think its bizarre in general but for those of you who think its a valid question, I would like your input. :) This is my 3rd child as you know an I am really trying to educate myself more about birth. I am obviously into a more natural approach to certain things like breastfeeding, etc... but I have always taken a real liberal approach to birth. Now I say liberal, I always have a birth plan and with the exception of an epidural prefer things pretty natural, but that is a HUGE exception. I decided to do some reading this go round since it will most likely be my last. I wanted to have the best experience possible. Ok, So the Dr I have used to be a home birth midwife so I totally trust her but she was not able to attend Ashers birth. Her Nurse midwife delivered him which was ok but even she will tell you that she is a "medical" midwife and was not willing to do even some of the things I had on my birth plan for Asher which had been approved already by my Dr. I wasn't super impressed with her (though his birth went fine) and wouldn't really prefer her or her bedside manner. Anyway, she (my Dr) is also in a practice with another male Dr that is WAY OLD SCHOOL and someone I would not trust with my delivery. So, here is my delima (I know, finally, right?) I talked to my Dr the other day end explained that I would like a natural, drug free, water birth and she was super into it but when we talked about my due date she realized she would be out of town around then. She also was honest about the fact that her colleagues would probably not be able to give me the birth experience I was looking for. She said we could just play it by ear an see what happens but what happens if she is gone and that old school crazy guy is on call?? I'd rather have my baby at home! I'm not even really super crazy about the midwife in the practice doing it this time(though that would be better than the alternative). So, do I start looking into home birth midwives, do I stick with it and see what happens? I guess there are 2 in the area that are nurse midwives so they accept insurance and HOLY CRAP are they cheaper. If I had known how much cheaper it was to do a home birth I would have planned it from the start. Good lord! I've had 2 good births, I'm not high risk so I cant imagine it would be a big deal. Anyway, I'll stop rambling now. What do you think?

31 comments:

Jenny W said...

OK, since you asked! I think since it's your last, if you "hope for the best" and your dr is out of town you'll regret forever not being more proactive about finding a team of health care providers who do what you want! of course there's the chance that your dr whom you love will be around... but it's SUCH a big chance to take. I don't know how your hubby, other support people, etc feel about you doing a home birth but since it's your 3rd and you know what to expect, I say go for it! Christy Hanley and Darcy Cotton would be excellent sources of info, by the way...

Sarafu said...

Those are my exact feelings. I mean since this is my last I dont want to regret anything. I have been leaning more and more towards doing it at home in the the last few days. My ONLY issues at my that point are making sure my husband is ok with it and making sure I have enough help here after the baby is born. Thats the one good thing about the hospital is that you have the nurses to get you whatever you need in the middle of the night. :) Plus you have a little alone time to bond with the baby. I would need some help not feeling like I need to get up and clean the house. Other than that I'm sold on the idea!

Sarafu said...

Oh just a side note, For ANYONE who is pregnant or going to have babies someday you HAVE to read "The Birth Book" by the Sears. I love the Sears family in general but this is really good and unbiased. Nobody is bashing anyone but it gives great info. ANyway, just thought i'd share :)

birdietwoshoes said...

OK, so I just commented on Elizabeth's site after seeing pictures of you and was like, "Whoa! Sarafu resurfaces!" Then I check your site to see you actually resurfaced on here a couple days ago. Yay! How ARE YOU?!?!?!? It's been so long. The pics of Jack and Asher made me realize how long it's been 'cause they're huge! And still so adorable.

As for your dilemma I am of NO help because I'm a hospital with an epidural girl ALL THE WAY. You are brave and I pray all goes well for this birth. And hey, maybe because you're feeling so different this time that means it's a girl... :) Missed you, girl! Hope to get back in touch with you!!!

(Check out my Xanga to see how big Rachel has gotten!)

Daniel said...

I'm a hospital with an epideral girl all the way too.

Daniel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Daniel said...

You can tell from the spinning baby that it's a boy.

Sarafu said...

LOL! I have resurfaced! Hopefully I can stay up here for a while too. :) Its good to see you on here, I thought for sure that I had lost most of my readers, and for good reason. :)
I've always been an epidural girl myself but, hey, I like to try new things. lol! I just REALLY have to do it for myself so that I know that I can. Plus after reading up I actually feel like its something I am impassioned enough about to actually follow through on. I hope anyway! Its just a personal goal for myself. :)
Daniel might change his mind if he knew how much that little stick in the back cost. It aint cheap pain releif for sure! lol.
As for the spinning baby thing, My first 2 boys NEVER moved like this one so we cant go on movement alone to determine the gender. I guess we'll have to wait until July. lol!

birdietwoshoes said...

Rachel moved ALL THE TIME so... maybe!! She's still moving all the time! LOL. :)

Jenny W said...

hey, here's an idea! let daniel get the epidural and YOU birth in a tub of warm water. that's a good day for everyone:)

Mrs. Sara said...

If you're not comfortable with your doctor (or in this case, who your doctor might be if your real doctor is out of town) then I'd say see if you are able to find a practice where you're familiar and comfortable with all the possible doctors you might have.

Sarafu said...

Ok, so I checked with my insurance and you have to give birth in an approved facility and my home isn't one of them. Well Poo!!!! The problems with changing Drs is that none of the other drs I think I would trust are covered b y my insurance. The midwife I had with Jack would be ideal but I had to switch because of insurance. So I'm not sure what to do. I guess I'll have to take my chances and see what happens but that idea totally stresses me out. arghhhh!

Elizabeth F. said...

I think you should check into switching to a mid-wife and get the birth that you want possibly at home. Especially, with your insurance plan...you'll pay alot out of pocket either way. And I just talked to Jenny and Dr. Sherritt is who delivered her babies. He was very patronizing about not getting an epidural and the birth plan, doula and stuff. And you know how outspoken she is...and she had a problem. You are taking a risk by staying with your Dr. since she has said she may be on vacation by your due date. These are just my opinions, but I would look further into the home birth! I've been at your last 2 births and I can totally see you doing it naturally at home or in the hospital.

Jenny W said...

i had dr. sherritt with both my girls, and just ignored the majority of what he said:) with sky i had a c-section b/c she was breech, so i wanted natural with hannah. he pretty much "knew" we'd do the best we could but i probably wouldn't be able to do it (i think he actually patted my knee. ew.) anyway i hired a doula, labored at home 12 hours after my water broke, didn't tell dr. sherritt that (lol) went to the hospital and had her 3 hours later. i did have an iv with new morphine in it but no epidural...and the next day his response was "well, you did it. i have to say i was a little skeptical about the doula thing...but you did it and it was fine. and no epidural.huh." like he was surprised! anyway, he's absolutely a nice PERSON and has been an OB for 123 years i think. lots of experience, which can be a plus in case of emergency. the problem with that is they tend to "get stuck" with one way of doing things. he will be sweet to you, and he will "let" you do what you want... sort of (he did give me an episiotomy i didn't want) but he'll patronize you along the way and then be surprised when you succeed! just an FYI :)

Mrs. Sara said...

An episiotomy you didn't want? Oh HELL no!!! My doctor comes within ten yards of me with a scalpel, she's gonna be tasting my fists of fury. :)

Sarafu said...

I'm sure he is a nice "Person" but I know lots of nice people I dont want delivering my babies. :) All I'm saying is that if he is on call then this baby will "accidently" be born at home. LOL! I am Terrified of episiotomies, not to say I'll never have one cause I dont want to jinx myself but I sure wouldnt trust that it was so necasarry if it was him. No offense to him of course. lol! :)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! What do I do???????????????????????
I just found out that Des may be doing a home birth and I am so jealous. lol, Who knew that I would ever be jealous of someone doing a home birth. :) Live and Learn!

Jenny W said...

yeah here's the episiotomy story: i had the birth plan, had the doula, etc. my water breaks, i labor at home 12 hours, go to the hospital with mom/hubby/doula in tow, get an iv drug, rest, then push for an hour and a half (ugh, but that's not even the ugh). AS THE BABY IS CROWNING (can you feel the burn?!!!!!!!) sherritt says "now honey i know we said no episiotomy but this really will go faster" and obviously at my WEAKEST moment i cry "whatever just get it out." which is just the answer he wanted. i gave him permission. DAVE WAS P I S S E D. not that he cared one way or the other beforehand, but he really felt afterwards that i was taken advantage of at my most vulnerable moment. of course here i am now, 8 years later, telling you all about it and how dr. sherritt does what he wants. hell hath no fury:)

Tammy said...

Confusing!! I had 3 babies totally natural, no pain killers, no epidural, no nothing but pain and push. (Oh and a couple of cuss words here and there) As a matter of fact when I was attending the Vineyard and heard all these young ladies talking about epidurals, I had to ask what one was. So what is confusing to me is....do they make you have an epidural nowadays?? I was never even offered one, like I said never heard of it, and Dr. Sherrit delivered one of my babies.

Elizabeth F. said...

I love Mrs. Sara's comment ont he epidural and fists of fury! Trust me, you don't want an epidural unless the baby is not doing well. I've had one and healing was way worse than the other two births. I tore very minimally with the other 2 and it was no biggie at all.

Tammy,
I don't think Dr.s force you to get epidurals, but they force you to get Pitocin to induce stronger contractions which means YOU are then forced to deal with pain management. Some people choose IV drugs, others epidurals. Pitocin is way overused b.c Dr's don't want to wait for your body to do it naturally.

Sarafu said...

Yah, Nurses are big advocates of them as well because it makes things alot easier for them as well. Not all nurses, obviously, but there are plenty who will give you all the great reasons why an epidural is a must in the middle of a painful contraction. I had a nurse with Jack that told me that when you got an epidural you typically didnt have to push as long because the baby was able to move farther down the birth canal before you start pushing. Ok, totally not true. You push longer because you dont feel what your doing...well at least I did. My epidural with Asher wore off at about an 8 and I pushed him out super quick. Course I am sure some of that had to do with the fact that he was 5 pounds. :)
Again, for all the woman who want an epidural, go for it, I dont have a problem with them, just the whole Hospital/Labor and Delivery system. You would think our country would have a better infant/maternal mortality rate since we're doing such a "Great" job. :)

Alli said...

Have you thought about a doula? It's important to remember that doctors can't force you to do/take anything that you don't want to. They may err on the side of their comfort zone and encourage you to have more interventions than you would like, but you ALWAYS have the right to refuse a treatment they recommend. A doula can help you figure out when you really need an intervention and when an OB is just following protocol. Also, if the insurance doesn't work out with a midwife, you might consider switching OBs even though it's kinda late in the game. Sara and I LOVE ours- Dr. Ransom in Portage; she seems very natural-birth friendly. She delivers at Porter and Saint Mary's in Hobart, and she suggested that I get a doula and try a water birth. (BTW- I loved the nurses at Saint Mary's, and they have a birthing tub available) Good luck!

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Sarafu said...

I will be hiring a doula. I had already decided on that because I know that it will be a huge help in alot of different areas. My issue isnt really the interventions as much as the way that I want to labor and birth. If I have an old school OB or someone more medical they are going to want to do things the way they always do. I cant force a Dr to let me give birth in water or not lying on my back if he/she doesnt do that. My only option would be to check out and have the baby in the parking lot, lol! This is where my problem lies. I have thought about switching OBs but I LOVE LOVE LOVE mine, which is already Dr Ransom :). Since she used to be a homebirth midwife she doesnt need to be convinced of the birth that I want. Its just she is going to be out of town when I'm due. She was my Dr with Asher as well and Colleen delivered him because of the same situation. I think I am going to talk to her next month and express the issues I am having and see what she says. Hopefully she will help me figure something out. :) Of Course if anyone has anymore advice or ideas feel free to bring it on!

Dan said...

You know, after all the stories I hear of kids being raised by wolves it seems like maybe there is a resource we are not utilizing here. I mean here are these animals that take on responsibility for a person that they not only don't know but that isn't even the same species! Not to mention they care for them in subzero temperatures outside. I can't think of too many humans that can do that. So my mind is made up, my wife is going to be assisted by a pack of noble wolves, mother nature's doula.

Mrs. Sara said...

You know, my husband brings up a good point. Although, I have to be honest, I didn't know that his sudden interest in wolf shows on the Discovery Channel had anything to do with the birth of our child...

Oh well... better a pack of noble wolves than some nasty old codger who wants to cut me from stem to stern!

;)

Jenny W said...

ok sara, you don't post for 4 months and you get 25 comments? do i need to post about scalpels and perineums more often?!!!!!!!!!

Mrs. Sara said...

That does seem to be the magic post topic, Jenny! :)

Elizabeth F. said...

Yeah, I'm jealous of all of the comments. Ya'll come to my blog and leave a comment!!

Jenny W said...

wow i haven't had this amount of traffic since the controversial harry potter bost i made last july. that was 29 comments, my record. i need to email jk rowling and tell her to stir something else up so we can all come to my blog and gripe about it! after all that's the fun of blogging, cyber bitching among friends...

jonibalonywith4kids said...

Hey, Sara. Well, you are right I do have some experience with this subject. I say go for it! Only since you have not had complications with your other two boys (beautiful boys I might add). I would interview the midwives and educate yourself as much as you can about home birth. It is an amazing, peaceful, painful, powerful thing to experience. Yes, you will need help when the baby is born. I am asuming Daniel would be off of work at least a week but it would be helpful to have someone else there. My midwife told me not to do anything except make myself a sandwich for two weeks and not to lift anything heavier than the baby. You only have one time to recover. One of my best memories is when we have woken the kids up to meet their new sibling. It just felt right to have them at home where we were. All of my kids were born in the middle of the night so we thankfully didn't have to have anyone watch the kids. I had John in my Mom's whirlpool bathtub. Honestly I didn't notice much pain relief because by the time I got into the water I was in hard labor. Now my sister Jacki on the other hand labored in the water and she noticed relief. Anyway, I don't want to overload you, but please if you have specific questions or need anything just let me know. It is an agonizing decision especailly if this is something that is not done in your circle of friends. Research, research, research!

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