Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Are You Kidding Me?

Thank God this woman is not my mom! Way to say "I Love You Kids"!

French mom offers 40 reasons not to have kids
Posted: Aug 23rd 2007 7:13AM by Lauren Greschner

People are either going to love the author interviewed in this article or they're going to hate her. Corinne Maier, a French mother of two, has written a book called No Kid: 40 Reasons Not to Have Children. From what the interviewer says about the book, it sounds as though Maier is pretty fierce and truly feels her life was better before kids. In the actual interview though, she seems slightly more humorous (albeit in a dark way).
Maier believes the French Government promotes the idea of family in that country in order to keep the economy running -- more kids equals more consumers to sell goods to after all, and also ups the amount of future earners contributing to the country's pension programs.
But Maier also has plenty of personal reasons not to have kids, 20 of which are listed in the piece. They include:
You will lose touch with your friends.
Your child will kill your desire.
Children sound the death knell of the couple.
You will be duped into thinking there is such a thing as a perfect child.
You will be expected to be a mother before you are a professional or a woman.
Children are dangerous. They will take you to court without a second thought.
Some of the reasons are harsh and some humorous, but I also think that some ring true. Possibly the most shocking thing about the book is that this woman, who lives in a society where having kids is often thought to be the only way a woman can really ever be fulfilled -- and in which those of us who haven't had or don't want children are viewed with pity or scorn -- is willing to admit that she regrets having children.
What do you think, is Maier selfish and crazy or courageous and honest?

This is just beyond my comprehension. I understand that some people dont want children and by NO means think that everyone should have kids, if you dont want them then dont have them, but C'mon, why would you write something like this? Plus this woman has kids, what kind of complexes do you think they are gonna have from this. JMO


Liz said...

How awful! I totally agree with you Sara. If someone knows they don't want to have kids, then don't have any. I am sure she probably thought that she did and I am sure it was much more work than she expected (as happens to everyone), but even when it was more responsibility than she expected and she is overwhelmed-how would you ever say such things? How can a mom actually not only say such things but actually make her words permanent and public by putting them in writing? I feel so bad for her kids!

birdietwoshoes said...

It's called selfish. This woman is apparantly downright self-centered. Yes, you may have had more freedom before you had kids, but if you were in love with your life so much, why did you make the choice to have kids? And I'm sorry, but, haven't lost touch with my friends, my desire hasn't been killed, I expected to be a mother first and foremost and Nathan and I are closer than ever. So the reasons listed are bunk! Obviously before I had Rachel, I did different things, but it's not like my life is over and I will never get to have fun again. I am willing to make sacrifices (such as not traveling to Europe any time soon) because being a mom (or parent) offers tons of joys and fun that don't even compare. Seriously, this lady is just selfish. And I feel bad for her kids.

Elizabeth F. said...

I can't imagine being her kids, grown or not, and hearing my mom say things like that. Then to be so public about it with a book!! It would make me feel horrible and unwanted for sure. And embarrassing!

It's one thing to have some doubts if motherhood was really for you if it didn't turn out like you had imagined, but you don't tell your kids that. C'Mon!

I don't know for sure how she mothered in the past, but right now her mothering sucks! :-) JMO. I think it's very selfish of her to write this book and not consider the hurt it would cause her children.

Amy said...

No way its so funny! Come on, she's venting and you have to admit some of those things are funny! Just think of a frustrated mom writing that, not for "real" just as a funny way to vent. I read it as being all in fun! You know, like a list of funny things your kids have done, like that e-mail that went around a couple of years ago, it went on about if you want kids here is what you should do first... and then it listed things like, leave an icecream cone in your glove box for 2 weeks, take a bat to the outside of your car to bang it up..Crunch up cheetos and leave them in your sofa for a week...it was funny ya know!

Liz said...

Amy, I think that the e-mail you were referring to is funny. There is humor in melting icecream and crunched up cheetos. It uses humor to make a point. I do not believe that this woman's book was humorous. WHat is so funny about saying that kids kill your desire or that they are dangerous and may take you to court? If this was an attempt to be funny, I think she widely missed the mark. There is nothing wrong with admitting that being a mom is hard or that you are frustrated but she took it to a whole new level when she wrote a book with such harsh statements. JMO! You may think I am taking this too seriously but you have to understand that I have worked with teens who have emotional disabilities all of whom have been belittled by their parents, so I am very aware of the harm that words can do.

patty said...

You know, even when I was pregnant, I have to admit, I did NOT think I was "mother material." I thought, day wants a child, I'll provide and then be on my merry way. That sounds harsh, I know, especially to all those that prayed so hard for me to carry this one to term. Yes, there were a lot of years in there that all the vineyard folk thought I was heartbroken over not being able to have kids. Not many really asked me, they just assumed. BUT after I had Annalynn and that doc laid that baby on me, I was overwhelmed. I love this little girl more than I ever thought I could love someone. I can admit before hand, I was scared to death that I would make a horrible mother. I'm not the most perfect mom, but my little girl will always know she is LOVED LOVED LOVED beyond comprehension. SO, although a lot of us have "been there" how in the WORLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLD could a mother EVER say this about her kids.And yes, she IS saying it about HER kids.

Anonymous said...

First this woman is French. The sense of humor is different then ours. Plus, it could have lost something in the translation. The French are a little more harsh and straight forward then Americans.

I think I understand what she is writing. I'm guessing most of you are under 40. When and where I grew up it was expected you got married out of high school and had kids. For many of us that was not all we wanted to do. I did get married at 19 and had a wonderful little girl when I was 21 (AMY!). But I wanted more I knew there was more to do in my life. I'm guessing this is where this women is coming from. If you think about her in the context of being French. I think you will find what she is saying is funny.

I would not change anything in my life. I have five wonderful kids in my life (Two natural Three stepchildren) and I have so much fun harassing them about stuff we have done. Some people might think the way we act is rude and harsh but that is our sense of humor. For example we are always giving a bad time about working at Deja Vu. :-)


Sarafu said...

Yah, I have to agree, There is NO way in Hell I would take this as funny if it came from my mom. Call me sensitve (which I am), but you cant tell me that if someones mom wrote this that they wouldnt take it personally, even if they impied that it was a joke. Its like the person who says something rude or mean and then follows it with "Just Kidding", They're full of crap, it came from somewhere in their heart. Plus, arent we supposed to build others up and encourage each other? We can be funny without ripping into each other.

Elizabeth F. said...

Consider this analogy:

You are married.
Your Hubby just wrote a book Telling people never to get married and all of the reasons why.

Even if he's joking (which he's probably doing and trying to make a buck with this book) it can be received as hurtful. Many jokes are hurtful, and the receiver of the joke has a hard time speaking up when it is under the disguise of a joke b/c everyone's normally like Oh C'Mon I was kidding. I agree with Sara that when things are said as a joke, there is usually a seed of truth in it.

Sarafu said...

Somehow I didnt see your comment sue before I posted mine. I can see that different cultures have different sense of humors and it makes sense that we may not get theirs. I just have to say that, Personally, I would be devastaed if my mom or Sue wrote something like this. I think I take it personally and put myself in her kids shoes and that makes me sad. We do live in a different culture and woman have more options today and women arent pushed into having kids so I guess I am coming from a whole different view point of if you dont want kids dont have them but if you do, then love them and dont make them feel guilty because they were born. JMO :)

Anonymous said...

Oh DARN!!! I'm going to have to call that publisher!!! LOL


Sarafu said...

Well, I guess it would be OK if you give me a cut of the cash! LOL!

Stam House said...

"children are a blessing from the lord" This is my first reason for HAVING children

Stam House said...

if you want to participate in weekend funnies here is my post

I'm sure you have some funnies to share!