Wednesday, May 24, 2006

And then there was one........

As I write this my brother, sister-n-law and best freind, niece and nephews are driving to their new home in NC.I cant seem to make it 5 minutes without bursting into tears and I wish I had a IV with a martini bag to deaded the pain. Sucky Suck Suck is really all I have to say! At one happy point my mother and brothers all lived here together happily and now after deaths and people moving away I am the last man standing. I dont even know how I ended up here, I didnt grow up here, I wouldnt say my roots are here, but here I am! I watched my brother and sister-n-law drive away last night and realized how much this is going to SUCK!!!!! I'm sorry if I am sounding rather negative but I am feeling rather negative today! Just for the record, I am happier than you could ever imagine that my brother will be happy and in a job he can sleep at night and spend time with his family. None of this is to make them feel guilty. But this is my blog and I can cry, whine and complain if I want to. I dont have much more to say becasue my thoughts are kinda blurry right now.
Thank You Daniel and Levi for listening to my tears.

11 comments:

Sue said...

Sara,

I don't know how you feel so I'm not going to give you any advice. Other than I know what I felt like when Josh left for Iraq. As you know you just have to make the best of each and every day.

I just want you to know your Dad and I love you very much (as does Levi, Bethany, John, Elizabeth, Amy, Bob Josh, and Joe the bird!!!). If you need someone to talk to I'm always there for you. And of course your Dad just gets the biggest smile on his face everytime he talks to you.

Now maybe you will come visit us!!!

Love you,

Sue

Daniel said...

I love you, and we'll make it through this!!! (....swallowing lump in throat)

birdietwoshoes said...

I'm sorry you're having a bad day... I know what it's like to have people I love very much move away and it does really suck. I've been praying for you. I hope you feel better soon!

Elizabeth F. said...

I cried for the first hour on the road, until I made a rational decision that it was not safe! We definitely won't go a day without thinking of you, and we can't wait to see you again.

Annette said...

It's Levi's fault you ended up in Indiana! If he wouldn't have dated and married Bethany, then you and your mom never would have moved there. I never would have seen you again. We never would have been roommates. You never would have met and married Daniel. You wouldn't have Jack and you wouldn't have Asher. Elizabeth wouldn't have had you all around when John went away. John and Elizabeth wouldn't have been there for the time they were. Your mom would have probably stayed in Texas and she wouldn't have had all her family around while she was sick. She definately wouldn't have had B to take care of her in the hospital. I wouldn't have grown to love her as a mother of my own. God has a devine plan...we don't know what all the pieces are..we don't know how things will end. I mean..come on..we aren't sure how we've gotten to where we are at right now. All we can do is trust God. However, feelings and emotions are real and I am proud of you for allowing yourself to process all of this. It's not to hold things in. It's not good to continue to dwell on them either. Let yourself miss them...then get in your car and go visit them :)

Sarafu said...

Thanks for all of your support and most of all prayers. Its amazing how much harder this stuff gets as I get older.

angela said...

i'm sorry you're having a rough time. i'm not going to say i understand how you feel because i don't. my family has always pretty much been in this area. i do recall when annette moved though and how i felt. i was so sad and mad at her lol. which i got over but at the time it was really hard for me. i felt very close to her...sge was one of the first females i really connected with. so were you by the way. i think a lot lately about how we all use to hsng out and i miss it. i don't really have any friends anymore and i really havent since then. now i just seem to be a mom and a maid and a dishwasher n so on n so forth lol. i dont mind though but i wouldnt mind havin some friends like i use to either lol. so in a sense i understand a little. your best friend is leaving and that part i've felt! you'll get through it just like you have so many other things. i do agree with you that things get harder as you get older! sometimes i wish i was 16 again and i never thought i'd say that lol. you got sum awesomely cute kids by the way and when ur mind is blah n u feel like cryin ur eyes out just look at their lil faces n it'll cheer you up! that works for me anyways! you're in my thoughts and prayers and i hope things get better for ya.

Liz said...

Wow Annette! Sara's life really would have been different if Levi hadn't moved here, huh? I know you are hurting right now Sara and I wish I could just make it all better. I am so glad that you are in Valpo. Jamie and I have loved all the many hours we have spent with you and Daniel (and of course your adorable boys who I cannot get enough of!) and we look forward to many more! If you need anything at all, please call! I will definitely be looking for more adult companionship as I have this baby and start staying at home! Good luck with your 1st Pampered Chef party tonight! You will do great!

Elizabeth F. said...

How did the party go?? Thinking of you...

jennyw said...

It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to...sorry:) I miss them too

Sarias said...

Sara,

Back again after a very busy year. I recently heard something that stuck in my mind about your situation and the following explains my thoughts..."life is a continous group of situations/transitions all stitched together...these transitions are all part of the plan that we have little control over". Hopefully you take from each and leverage experiences to make the next transition easier.

Sarias