Thursday, June 07, 2007

Tact, A Lost Art?

So, as I have been trying to round up volunteers to help create, what will be, my mothers memorial gardens I am finding that some people around here never learned about a little something called "Tact". I have had a few really great people willing to carry on my moms memory and totally into helping but unfortunately I have had more than that be downright rude (well, IMO its rude). For Example, I asked one couple (friends of my mother) and the husband kinda seemed annoyed that I was asking and quickly said No, he had some things going on. The wife never responded so I asked her if she was interested and she said "ME, No Way, not my thing!" Her tone was pretty adamant about how this was TRULY not her thing. I wanted to say, "NO, your right, its not your thing, its my moms thing and we were wanting to see if you could take a little time out of your day and help out. " This is unfortunately just one example, I could go on but you get the idea. What ever happened to people, at least, being polite about saying no? Like "OH, I would LOVE to, I really loved your mom but we are really busy next weekend with some things and since this is so last minute we just don't think that we could do it" (said in a sympathetic & apologetic tone). Maybe its because I am from the South but I would Way rather hear that. I notice the lack of tact allot more here in the Midwest and I wonder if its a culture thing or maybe I am just older and more aware. Plus with this specific issue, we are dealing with my deceased mother you would think people would be abit more compassionate in their tone (God forbid they actually volunteer. lol).
OH, and Thank you SOOOOOOO much to all those who have volunteered!! I appreciate it more than you know!!!! You All Rock!

10 comments:

Mrs. Sara said...

Oh by the way, Dan won't be joining us cause he's got some stuff going on, and it's just not his thing. (said in a gruff, annoyed tone)

Just kidding! ;) He's actually going to be helping his brother Saturday, but I'll be there with bells on!

interactive said...

good ole valpo vineyard.

l.

John F. said...

just send the names and addresses and we will take care of those annoying tones. we will kill them 7 times before they hit the ground.

Sarafu said...

C'mon! Be NIce....Just break their Spleen. HAHAHAH! OH, Good Times!!! :)

Elizabeth F. said...

Yeah, you'd think people would feel bad they couldn't help instead of sounding annoyed that they are being asked. And we are talking about people that knew her and you know that your mom would have done ANYTHING for these people. Rude, yeah very Rude! They should find some tact. I hate people being rude, but what I hate even more than that is people just avoiding you or not returning your phone calls because they don't know how to say No. So, instead they're just passive and avoid the situation. I'd rather have a direct answer or even a Kiss my a**, instead of being left hanging, ya know?

I wish we could be there...there's just too many miles in between us. :-( And the outrageous cost of gas too.

birdietwoshoes said...

Hey, was that you who left a comment on my Xanga? It sounded a bit like you so I was just wondering so I could put a name to the comment. For some reason, it didn't say who left the comment so I was just wondering! :)

Elizabeth F. said...

You are tagged! Go to my blog for details!!!

Jenny W said...

oh where oh where has our sarafu gone...oh where oh where has she been...

Elizabeth F. said...

http://thewholefamily1.blogspot.com/2007/06/summer-must-havesolarveil-sling-give.html

Check out my blog for the Summer Must-Have Solarveil Sling Give-Away...for you or a friend or a SIL! LOL!

betharoo said...

Tact is verbal strength. It also takes caring. Although, I know I've also been caught off-guard (like at church w/ crabby kids, a lunch-date waiting etcc and ya just want to get the hell out the doors.

It might be that folks didn't truly understand what we were doing.

Or they might just be asses.